Tar-baby, blackie and midnight were just a few chosen words used to hurl insults my way as a young girl growing up. But it really wasn’t until I moved from the islands to the Bronx in the late 80s that my deep copper pigmented skin became the main subject of what we know to hold true of colorism. Honestly, when I initially set out to write this post—it was intended solely for black women, but the perils of colorism isn’t exclusive to the black race. It’s global. It’s multi-cultural. It’s pandemic. Just check the sale numbers on skin bleaching creams in Jamaica, India or Japan.You see, whether it’s when your Indian-American neighbor pleads with her 6 year-old daughter to shelter herself from the sun before she “gets too dark” or that cute high school crush who professes that “you’re pretty for a dark skin girl”—the fact still remains that many still see dark skin and Afrocentric (outside of sub Saharan Africa) features as undesirable across western society and the diasporas.Those very attributes that remind many of us of our West African ancestry: wide nose bridge, deep cocoa skin or 4c curl patterned coils.
When I moved to the South, I was reminded even more that the lighter the complexion—the greater the privilege. Privilege of belonging. Privilege of opportunity. Privilege of self-worth. Growing up I wasn’t prepped for the cruelty that accompanied any of society’s isms—-much less what colorism could wreak on my self-esteem. I’d often find myself searching for understanding. Why people could be so cruel? Why would my skin tone garner so much hate and disdain? Why couldn’t people see me for just me? I was too young at the time to fully understand racism and its ugly ramifications. I was too young at the time to not give zero phucks of what people thought of me and my beauty.That would change.
It wasn’t until college that I decided to fully embrace all that God made me to be. It’s when I decided that I was no longer going to accept anyone else’s insecurities as my own. Nope. I wasn’t going to take ownership. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not NEVER! See what I realized is that when people are totally secure with who they are—there is no need for them to make anyone else feel less than. There’d be no need for them to put anyone down in order to lift themselves up. There’d be no need for them to relish in the demise of others. Please know this—You’re worthy. You’re beautiful. You’re capable. When I look in the mirror, I see Queen Nefertiti staring back at me. I challenge you to walk in your queendom. Accept your royalty. And reclaim your throne.
